• Bigfishbest@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    My favorite biblical conspiracy theory. Simeon bar Yonah, was a fisherman until he became a disciple. Jesus had faith in him so he called him his rock, the steady foundation that could always be relied on. The Greek for rock is Petros. As it just so happens, Simeon was son of Yonah, as the prefix “bar” shows, in English it would be Simon “the Rock” Johnson. And in case anyone is curious, Dwayne happens to mean fish hook. Also, the modern day Rock has a daughter called Simone, bringing us full circle. And thus we have proven biblical prophecy, or something, I’m not a quantum.

    • MotoAsh@piefed.social
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      1 day ago

      Hey, in defense of Jesus, he’s like the singlularly good thing about modern Christians… If only they acted like him, they’d be far more respected.

      • 🦄🦄🦄@feddit.org
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        1 day ago

        The guy that said that he didn’t come to bring peace but to bring the sword?

        The guy that said that everyone who isn’t with him is against him?

        The guy that said that compared to your feelings for him you should hate your parents, wife and children?

        Christianity is rotten to the core.

      • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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        1 day ago

        It’s largely a made up story told well after the fact by several people, all of which are contradictory. I don’t disagree with you, except that we don’t really know how he acted. He may have been real, but he could have been a total ass and his followers just left that out.

        • Kühlschrank@lemmy.world
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          23 hours ago

          The sermon on the mount is largely believed to have been delivered by the historical Jesus which was pretty cool stuff to say and which the modern Evangelical movement almost entirely ignores except for vague references to judgement which they misinterpret as it suits them

        • MotoAsh@piefed.social
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          1 day ago

          Yea, but that’s also true of Muhammad and every other figure from history.

          The point is their freaking namesake deity’s prescription for behavior is infinitely more mature and respectable than them.

    • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      He changed his name himself because he got brain damage from falling off a horse and decided to become a Christian

      • Kalothar@lemmy.ca
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        1 day ago

        He also seemed to have hallucinations / schizophrenia, also got in a fight with Jesus’s brother in a temple in Jerusalem like 12 years after Jesus’s death. At least this is some information we can scrape together.

        Also shout out to a book called Zealot by Reza Aslan all about cobbling together an historic representation of the Jesus the man, from various pieces of evidence.

  • Pat_Riot@lemmy.today
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    1 day ago

    My favorite part has always been how all those middle eastern guys had total fucking British white guy names like Peter, and Paul, Timothy, Thomas, Andrew, fucking Bartholomew ( fucking Bart‽ Really‽), James, Philip. If you’re stupid enough to go along with that horseshit, how in the fuck do you remember to breathe? Nobody that believes a word of the bible is qualified to operate metal eating utensils.

    • PugJesus@piefed.socialOPM
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      1 day ago

      … are you being serious right now?

      The reason that those are British names are:

      1 Because of Christianity’s immense influence - native British names would be more like ‘Æthelwulf’ and ‘Ecgberht’

      AND

      2 Because those names are heavily anglicized. ‘Peter’ coming from ‘Petros’, itself the Hellenized form of ‘Cephas’.

      • fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk
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        1 day ago

        In case anyone wants them, here’s one of the translations (we’re changing alphabet, millenia, as well as language, so you’re not going to get any consistency)

        Jesus
        Hebrew - Yeshua
        Greek - Iesus

        Simon (called Peter)
        Hebrew - Shim’on, (surnamed Kefa/Kepha)
        Greek - Petros

        James, son of Zebedee
        Hebrew - Ya’akov Ben-Zavdai
        Greek - Iakōbos

        John, son of Zebedee
        Hebrew - Yochanan Ben-Zavdai
        Greek - Iōannēs

        Andrew
        Hebrew - Andreas
        Greek - Andreas

        Phillip
        Hebrew - Phillipos
        Greek - Philippos

        Bartholomew
        Hebrew - Bar-Talmai
        Greek - Bartholomaios

        Matthew
        Hebrew - Mattityahu
        Greek - Matthaios

        Thomas
        Hebrew - T’oma
        Greek - Thōmas

        James, son of Alphaeus
        Hebrew - Ya’akov Ben-Halfai
        Greek - Iakōbos tou Alphaiou

        Thaddeus
        Hebrew - Taddai
        Greek - Thaddaios

        Simon the Canaanite
        Hebrew - Shim’on the Zealot
        Greek - Simōn ho Kananitēs

        Judas Iscariot
        Hebrew - Y’hudah from K’riot
        Greek - Ioudas Iskariōtēs

    • teft@piefed.social
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      1 day ago

      Those aren’t their names in Hebrew. Those are their translated names. Like how Jesus isn’t called Jesus in Hebrew. He’s called Yeshua.

      • Pat_Riot@lemmy.today
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        1 day ago

        When you try to sell your horseshit story as the infallible word of god but you changed the names for audience palatability. Here’s your plastic spoon.

        • teft@piefed.social
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          1 day ago

          Their names aren’t infallible words of god. The infallible words are those spoken by Jesus and are the words in red (usually) in the bible.

          Also the infallibility is only about the bible being a source for spiritual guidance. It’s not considered infallible in things like science.

          As another atheist I’m embarrassed for you if you don’t know these things since you seem so adamantly against religion. Most atheists learn about religions so they don’t look like idiots when they talk to people of faith and refute their religion.

          “The Bible is infallible if and only if it makes no false or misleading statements on any matter of faith and practice.”

          • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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            1 day ago

            Respectfully, I must disagree. Even a social media equivalent of a medical waste dump like reddit serves some minimal kind of a function. Those comments have Twitter cringe written all over them, if not Truth Social.

    • Bigfishbest@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      The name was Petros, which is the Greek translation of the arameic word Cephas, meaning rock, or stone. Andrew was Andreas, Philip was Philipos, and so on. The translators of the Bible changed the names to sound more relatable. Your lack of the most fundamental knowledge of history puts you in the category you so flavorfully defined.

      • Pat_Riot@lemmy.today
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        21 hours ago

        Sure, sure, Fish, translation. Translation requires interpretation and as you say the names were changed to appeal to the target demographics. That’s some infallible word of god alright. No better than King James’s further alterations of your favorite fairytale.