You’re on lemmy. Such hypocrisy.
It’s easy to judge from like 30 minutes in public, until you have an autistic kid and no support network.
Thank you for saying this. I used to judge parents of kids on screens until I had my own. You never know what’s going on and there’s a chance that the 30 minutes of quiet that family is getting from the iPad is the only peace they’ve had all day.
Or it’s the only meal they’ve had out in a month and it coincided with a sleep regression or something.
I have friends without kids tell me how they would parent and what they don’t think is “good parenting” all the time. They have no clue…
Our future. Get used to it.
Me when a friend of mine who’s an engineer who sometimes works for the CERN unironically watches Mr. Beast and listens to Papa-a-pate (?, this nonsense k-pop song, it was popular some months ago…).
Like, yeah, you have the hardware, why fill your brain with malware! ;-;
Is he on the spectrum perhaps?
Lol, no, he’s just a classic “work hard party hard” engineer lad! If any ladies here live in Barcelona and want a (truly) kind hearted, hardworking man to mould a bit, shoot me a DM. 😅
Malware for the brain. Best description of brainrot I’ve heard yet.
E: any social media “challenges” pretty much fall under this umbrella as well.
Are you sure they don’t work at SERN?
10/10 reference!
You watch skibidi toilet on a corporate-controlled spyware machine known as the “iPad”
I read the anarchist cookbook on my RISC-V PineTab
We are not the same.
And do you trust the people that fabricated your RISC-V cpu?
read … on my RISC-V PineTab
Because it’s not powerful enough to play a video. /s (sorry, just teasing)
But you also watched new grounds and shit like goatse
Somewhere right now there is a iPad kid watching skibidi toilet that will one day be president.
Somewhere right now there is a President watching skibidi toilet that will one day be dead.
you jest. fox news would never stoop so low to play that garbage.
they stoop lower by playing fucker carlson, or other fascist talking heads.
And their parents allow them to blast the sound in public with no headphones. I can’t fathom the lack of give-a-fucks for their fellow humans (to include their own children).
Yes that’s kind of a pet peeve of mine. I understand that sleep deprived parents sometimes need to put their kids in front of their phones. But in recent years I have noticed that they just blast the sound really loud and don’t care about any other human being. I’m really shy but after almost freaking out on a train ride because of two different kids just watching something full volume I have asked parents to tone it down. They were even kind of embarrassed and nice about it. I have no idea how you can be so disconnected to your surrounding… The worst were grandparents with a 2 year old kid during a kids theater and they just let the kid watch a show with the volume up. I mean what about all the other kids who are performing and you sit in the middle with a phone just blasting full volume. They wanted to stop him and then he started throwing a tantrum. They just laughed and were like oh he’s so cute and we can’t do anything about it. Fuck that’s not cute, if you want to watch a tv show with volume, just sit outside of theater with your little brat!
i mean, if they were wearing headphones the kid’d still be blasting it. it saves the kid’s hearing at a minor social cost. tinnitus really sucks and if the parents have to take measures to prevent it, i’ll take being annoyed for a few minutes to keep someone else from getting tinnitus. it’s beyond a fair trade.
Set volume limit then? Lol
you may be assuming too much tech savviness for that amount of sleep deprivation, but you’re completely correct.
Bro I watch Loiter Squad by choice, who the fuck am I to judge?
Don’t judge the kid, judge the parents. Parents who should not be parents prefer to make their kids less of a burden to them by handing them over to the overstimulation square
100% My kids have tablets. The only time they get them is on road trips and plane rides. Some parents we know bring them to restaurants, family gatherings, you name it. It’s fucking annoying. Make your kid socialize or they’re going to grow up weird AF.
My child is autistic.
The only way to get him to be calm in a restaurant was to give him earphones and play something comfortingly familiar.Now that hes a bit older, it’s a bit better. But he still frequently needs something similar in those kinds of situations.
When I was a kid, we’d get together with family and do our thing. Then we’d all eat a meal, and usually after the meal it was all right, everyone go do whatever you want, and the kids would usually go down the basement and play toys or video games, and adults sit around digesting, having some drinks, etc.
Fast forward to now, I’ll bring my kids tablets or whatever, and when the party is entering the food coma stage, I say do whatever you want, you’ve spent the last couple hours talking to people, or just existing around people who are 30-60 years older than you.
I feel like it always comes to this, but everything in moderation. I played a lot of Nintendo as a kid, and I grew up well adjusted (enough), and I don’t doubt my kids can do the same. For me, the whole tablet thing just stretches out the amount of time I get to hang. Kids get antsy. Shit, I get antsy and I’m an adult, but if letting them do whatever for 30-60m at the end of a party let’s me unwind with my family and friends, it’s fine.
The annoying part is when the kids roll into the party iPad already blasting.
Got a earn that shit. Also gives me something to say hey, get your shit together or no games.
Yeah or they’re really introverted they’ll at least use their imagination to disassociate.
Like I used to look around and imagine little beings making their way around objects and walls. Or looking into the distance and imagining things farther away were right in front of me, but the same size — so now you’ve got a miniature waiter running around the table, trying to catch the little beings.
My ability to zone out probably masked a lot of brain problems, but it did also make me a champ at sitting in waiting rooms while having the time of my life.
I was at a friends and family barbecue recently, and it just so happened none of the parents there brought tablets for their kids. It was just kids running around the backyard being kids. The parents generally let them do whatever but were attentive enough to prevent them climbing on the shed and stuff.
I can’t remember the last time there wasn’t some kid glued to a screen at that type of party. It was a joy to see.
my brother’s got six kids. whenever he visits, first thing he and his wife do is go to sleep. they wake up for meals, then go back to sleep. now, i love my nieces and nephews, but i don’t invite my brother over to be unpaid babysitters. i invite them over to see the family. so, we don’t invite them over much anymore.
That’s too many kids. Poor things can’t get the parental attention they need :(
This is actually me when I’m in public and see someone judging a family based on exactly one frame of their lives.
I know a family with small kids who watch stuff like this on an iPad. One kid figured out how to get onto regular YouTube, and now watches tutorials to bypass parental controls. A true hacker in the making.
It’s been a nightmare for the parents tho, the kid figured out how to turn on all the game systems and plays stuff they’re not supposed to now lol.
Also, for anyone feeling high and mighty about the content from their childhood: https://youtu.be/EIyixC9NsLI
I think the problem people generally have with cocomelon or w/e is that it’s hours and hours of content that is replacing stuff like Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street. It’s okay to watch trash and it’s okay to let your kids watch trash but there’s a responsible way to do it.
I’m not having kids, but this always feels like such a missed opportunity to let kids do something more mentally stimulating on that tablet.
Drawing apps and eBooks are right there! Hell, set up Termux and Acode up for them and let them program a bit (or like, I bet there’s a mobile version of Scratch they could use if they can’t read yet). Let them take photos and make little collages. Get them some music Synthesizer App so that they can tinker on their own little beats. Literally just show them that they have the tools to make something great instead of just shoveling in mindless content all day…Those are harder than the dopamine of brainrot content though. I struggle with it myself. I know programming is far more rewarding in the long-term, yet I often end up browsing lemmy instead due to the immediate dopamine hit compared to the delayed one.
These kids won’t have any sense of self-control or understand why one is better for them than the other and the kind of parent that gives a child a tablet and just turns on YouTube does so because they don’t want to actually parent. So while this is decent advice for proper parents, these kinds of parents aren’t gonna do that, because it requires more work for them.
If I had termux with ghc as a child I would NOT stop studying math.
“just one more monad, dad”
I am the donor for a lesbian couple. I’m pretty involved in my son’s life. I took him for his third haircut. Midway through, he was bored, and shooting me one of the angriest looks I’ve ever gotten from him. I took a pic and sent it to his mom.
“Oh god look how mad he is, give him your phone!”
What? He’s being quiet and learning how to be patient while a haircut happens. Some parents think reality is a BAD substitute for devices, it seems.
At least one night a week, he comes to my house and plays without any screens. We talk and explore the world.
Makes sense when even adults use phones as a means to escape even a moment of boredom. How many adults use their phones while driving? That’s one of the most mentally stimulating things I can think of, and people get BORED.
i “use” my phone while biking, mounted to the fucker, to play music (so i don’t have to use my bell as often, also music rests my brain) and the other day i passed a kid pedaling, holding his phone in his lap and staring into the thing and jesus heelslut christ he wasn’t even wearing a helmet i’m still worrying about him
To be fair driving isn’t stimulating at all (at least for me). Doesn’t mean I use my phone while doing it though, because… I’m not an idiot
Driving is honestly very stimulating for me. I have AuDHD and it is one of the few times I feel calm because I can actively engage all of my senses. Something about keeping an awareness in your head of what’s around you and your car really keeps me occupied.
Totally agree!
I see the problem more in the parents. First, that these kids can use the iPad so much and second, that they can just consume on it. Like you said: Create, build and explore. Use the iPad, not get used by the iPad.
bet there’s a mobile version of Scratch they could use if they can’t read yet
And for older kids apple made a scratch-like game for teaching their Swift programming language!
Scratch also works entirely in the web browser
Parents use to say leave your toys at home. I guess parents need the virtual babysitter with them at all times.
Sometimes that iPad is there for you not the kids, try raising an autistic kid with unlimited energy, when you get them in a restaurant or bus, if the iPad is gonna keep him quiet and occupied, that means you don’t have to hear him complain. Kids aren’t robots, they’re people, and some have special needs and get overwhelmed in the fucked up world we made. If super kitties is gonna keep him relaxed for a bit so be it.
Thanks for this thoughtful and considerate response. As a parent myself, your kindness is so appreciated!
Hey, super kitties is quality content compared to YouTube. We have a YouTube ban in my house - the only exception is if it’s an actual show that can’t be found on streaming services.
The rest of this is spot on. We use iPads to keep our kids quiet in public places that are boring to them, like restaurants or planes.
We’ve all experienced an annoying kid in a restaurant, or a crying baby on the plane. It sucks, but usually that’s short lived. This post just seems like child-free snark/elitism signaling to me.
Most often the iPad is not for the kids but for inattentive Parents that just want to doomscroll in peace and not deal with their offspring.
I used to think exactly that and judge that heavily, but after my sister became a mother, we talked about this and she said essentially, that you don’t know them, you don’t know the day they’ve had and what they have done all day and what happened before. And that having a child is so hard that sometimes you just need to do things that are maybe not optimal, like giving them coke or letting them be on an iPad in public to avoid another hour of screaming, but that doesn’t mean they are not doing super much before. Because everybody has a breaking point and you cannot be perfect, but you don’t know the arguments or deals or time spent earlier, and sometimes it’s necessary to also keep care of yourself and relax a bit when you’re done.
We might not know the parents, but we do know that iPads didn’t exist in the past and people still managed to raise kids.
I had a similar change of perspective when I became a parent. We do our best to raise our kids to be the best people they can be. But, if we want to do normal people things and that requires some screen time, so be it. I know what’s going on with my kids and idgaf what others think.
And that having a child is so hard that sometimes you just need to do things that are maybe not optimal, like giving them coke or letting them be on an iPad in public to avoid another hour of screaming, but that doesn’t mean they are not doing super much before.
mhm yes, because instant gratification is always a trait to foster…
I saw it in the development of my nephew that he gets so easily frustrated and also scared to break anything, because toys like the iPad are expensive as heck (and when its broken it can’t give him any dopamine shots).
So we get highly temperamental kids that have super short attention spans. Hurrah for dumbification of your civilisation. Two hails for our corporate overlords!
Congrats, you perfectly missed the point of the message you replied to.
Maybe your nephew gets the iPad all the time and that messed up his frustration tolerance. Ok. You might have a closer inside to how he is parented. When you see someone outside with a kid on an iPad you cannot know these things about them. Whatever it looks like to you, you’re judging strangers based on a one point observation.
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My colleague is real nice and all, but exactly why she gives iPad/phone to her toddler is exactly for the reason you mentioned. A lot of parents are lazy. And we wonder why the younger generation is turning right, because techno-fascists know how glued we are now to digital devices.
and thats terribly sad.
Parking them in front of YouTube kids isn’t the right idea though… The content they show is just ridiculous.
yes of course its not the right idea and right thing to do, we all know it in here.
You don’t know that it’s “most often”.
That’s just how you feel about it. You’re being judgmental but don’t have any idea.
The fun thing is you pull even worse faces when the brainrot is taken away from them and now youre stuck in an enclosed space with a screaming toddler running away getting wrestled back, jostling against your chair while youre trying to eat.
Good god this hits home
Months ago I was visited by a relative who brought their eight year old. She’s single and her boy is ever so slightly mentally not there. He’s smart enough but just not there with everything. Plus the mother is not capable of looking after him. So many wrong things and I hate to judge anything about it … both mother and son are having and will continue to have a hard life.
As we talked, the son spent the entire time with their device looking at YouTube videos.
At one point I wanted to try to make friends and asked him what he was watching … he mumbled and ignored me. I looked over at his video and it was just a completely nonsensical animation of characters running around like in a video game … I couldn’t understand what was happening or why, the cartoon animals were just mumbling nonsense, laughing, running and flashing lights and constant cuts to new scene after new scene. I looked at the kid and he was two steps away from just drooling.
I couldn’t believe it and it scared me. This device was melting any amount of brain power the kid had.
It made me think about myself and what the hell I was doing with my time.
It made me think that the world is all doing the same thing to one degree or another. Some are better, since are terribly worse.
It made me think that humanity is doomed.
That’s not developmentally normal even for a tablet kid, fyi. I would help them seek immediate evaluation…
I have a family member who was a tablet kid when they were 8. However they engage with me, their favorite thing is to play the addictive tablet game in my lap and they love when I or others play it with them, especially if you make a story out of it. They watch way too much YouTube but they were delighted when I watched with them, we did thumbs up and thumbs down and talked about what we were watching. They sat in my lap and while laser focused and addicted to the content, were also primarily engaging with me. They sadly are a bit attention starved from their neglectful parents but that’s a lot more developmentally normal imo.
I have friends with kids like that, and it’s scary. I’m obviously a fan of technology, but critical thinking might go down the drain if children spend all day in front of a screen at such a young age.
Adults today are, at least wherever Western media and culture has taken over, mostly mentally challenged and vacuous consumerists. What hope do their kids have? I feel bad for my future children, ngl, but they might die in the water wars regardless so maybe they won’t have to tolerate nonsense for long, lol.
Mechanisms of manipulation and control are getting more and more sophisticated and it’s really fucking sad.
Its like watching someone overdose. It sucks. And we don’t have language about it, even shitty language, like we do for drugs, so it’s hard to even talk to people about.
In my experience, it’s either anime characters and flashing lights/colors or some streamer screaming his head off. Both equally nonsensical.
