FAKE!
That’s fucking hilarious out of context.
But that being said, BMWs have the worst blinkers control I’ve ever seen in a car. They tried to innovate on it with software and it’s just bad. Seriously. For anybody who doesn’t know what it’s like, go to a BMW dealership and test drive a car or something. Somehow, they took the stick control and made it worse.
So, that there’s a tutorial video, is depressing and funny, but also unfortunately needed.
My driving teacher had a BMW and I thought it had nice turn signals! Then again my parents car at the time was a nearly 22 years old economy car so my frame of reference is not great.
I asked the local BMW dealer if I had to take a class to unlearn how to use a turn signal.
He did not find it funny, which I found even more hilarious.
So you’re telling me they’re not an optional extra?
Nowadays the turn signal is probably a monthly subscription
Correct. Blew my mind too.
From what I hear, the car itself beats it out of you.
Based on the number of BMWs I see in the shop there?
Something gets beat, that’s for sure.
Of course, something about the german nature of the business prevents them from finding things funny.
You know, in retrospect, you are totally right.
Coward! Enable the comments.
My hubby drives a bmw and every time he uses his turn signals I point out that he is confusing other drivers
Consistency is important.
AI powered bleeding edge fly-by-wire modern innovation in turn signals
$34.99 per month plus tax for basic turn signals. If you refuse to pay for basic only half your cylinders will fire and your redline is reduced to 3500rpm. Also you don’t have turn signals.
Step 1: Please pay your Signal Light Subscription of $36/month to enable the bulbs.
Why pay if not used
Fr that seems flagrantly wasteful
So is a BMW, yet here we are
I can only imagine the frustration of engineers in BMW having to deal with finance people.
Engineer: “…So you want me to route the functionality of heated seats to a PCB to check for a payment variable, to prevent the person, who bought the car, to not be able to use a function already built in… Is that correct?”
Finance guy: “Yes! You got it!”
Engineer: “I know the answer is money but still… Why?!”
Money
Engineer: 😫
12 years ago. Back then shit was less dire.
2013 was plenty dire. We had Ted Cruz’s friends in the House trying to dismember social security and medicare while Obama kept explaining away why we needed more troops in Afghanistan and fewer labor organizers in Ohio.
The '08 Housing Crisis was still echoing through the US, the economy was stalling in the face of Congressional austerity, and people ringing the big “Climate Change is coming for us” dinner bell were once again getting told to shut up so we wouldn’t scare away moderate republican voters in the 2014 midterms. Israel and Gaza had broken out into a brief shooting war, the recently-debunked Lancet “Vaccination-Autism” study was gaining traction among reactionary politicians, Jeffry Epstein was hanging out with Bill Gates on Palm Beach, and a fresh-faced NYC landlord with political aspirations was all over FOX News saying how he was on the verge of uncovering Obama’s real birth certificate.
The fuse was lit. We were all just in the fucking around phase, rather than the finding out part. Extremely dire situation.
With respect to subscription hells. Not your “colonial” policies.
Top quality comment right here. Way to hit on so many disparate yet crucial historical events. I’d read a history book this person wrote.
“Before I begin, I recommend paying your heated seat subscription before bothering with stuff like the turn signals.”
Turn signals only available with the deluxe interior / lighting package.
…
For an additional 3 grand.
There are now entire forums dedicated to pirating the turn signal
429k views
(X) Doubt
https://youtu.be/GAMCkJvECy8 462k Including me now, which i don’t own a car. Lol
Not BMW drivers obviously.
A good friend of mine was a BMW mechanic for years. His favorite joke was: “You know what the most sole crushingly pointless job is? The guy who installs turn signals at the BMW factory.”
The peasants don’t need to know where I am going.
They should be lucky enough to breathe my exhaust!
Owned a BMW 320i for 8 years.
I had no idea it could do that…
It is possible, but I had to install the aftermarket turn signal mod to unlock mine
I almost got in an accident with a BMW driver, today. They made it look like they were turning but faked me out and went straight, instead. Then they proceeded to scream something at me in a different language for about 30 seconds, while blocking my turn. I was the only one who signaled. There’s no point to this story, I just felt it added to the vibe here.
I used to ride a motor bike and BMW divers are the reason I sold it. So many of them don’t care about anyone beyond the range of their own knuckles.
Every driver in China is like that. The popular consensus seems to be if other drivers know what you plan to do, they will use it against you.
Bro this is applicable EVERYWHERE 😂
That doesnt really match my experience, every region has a distinct reason they don’t use turn signals; American drivers are too self-centered to signal, Indian drivers don’t use the turn signals because it broke 12 years and 800,000km ago, Vietnamese drivers/riders are too busy on their phones or stretching their legs to use a turn signal (vinfast drivers are just afraid it will drain the battery), South Korean drivers will have already made the turn or merge by the time the light reaches other drivers so they don’t bother.
Dated a girl with a BMW and the turn signal was real fucky. Didn’t click right, had no feel. You had to look at the dash to even see if it was on.
German engineering can suck my fucking balls.
On-laws drive a BMW-SUV. Suspension is Like a sports car, it’s just a bad driving experience. It’s a maddive chunk of metal, I don’t want to feel a moose if I was to hit one.
I have a BMW and I use my turn signals! There are dozens of us!
Dozen*
Yes I’m a vegetarian. Yes, I eat meat. Yes, we exist.
I think she was ‘vegan’, which makes it even worse.
when my BMW is reset, the soft turn signal only blinks once. I have to go and set it for 3 blinks. Ever since, I see BMW drivers sometimes only give one blink and if you blink you might miss it lol bad engineering on such great engineering
I did not know about soft turn signals until I saw this post.
I question why this feature exists. Drivers should be aiming to signal 10 seconds ahead. When making a lane change or turn, you should be keeping your signal on until the maneuver is completed. I can’t think of a circumstance where 3 blinks is enough. 1 blink looks more like a mistaken signal.
Law is 3 seconds here, which is a bit longer than 3, but not a lot. 10 can get ambiguous because there might be a street before the one you’re actually turning at, and then you’ll confuse others.
The 3 blinks is mostly just for roundabout exits though, at least for me. 3 seconds of blinking could mean 2 different exits. Again, confus.
My favorite blinker scenario locally is this really disgusting offramp/series of interchanges/spaghetti abomination thing on my way home from certain directions. I take every possible lane change and right turn for nearly 2 miles on this part of the route, so I just activate the blinker once and it stays on for a solid 3 minutes until it shuts off on its own.
- Start on 2-lane 55mph turnpike with exit coming up on the right in ~.75 miles
- right blinker goes on as the turnpike gradually widens to 5 lanes, adding new lanes on the right every ~.1 miles - I leave the blinker on as I hug the solid white and slip into each new lane as it comes
- After .2 miles of being in the rightmost of the 5 lanes, I slip onto the exit ramp - blinker is still on (lol)
- After another .1 miles, the ramp splits and I take the right side of the fork - blinker still on
- Yet another fork after that where I stay to the right again
- Another roadway merges in on the right which I have to cross in front of
- Come up on a T intersection of the off-ramp with the surface street and, you guessed it, the blinker is STILL ON, and it’s another right turn for me
- That last 90° turn is enough steering wheel rotation to trigger the automatic shutoff of the blinker coming out of the turn
- I grin like an idiot and cackle with glee the rest of the way home as my partner in the passenger seat quietly shakes her head. Fucking glorious
I can sorta imagine it, but also not. I think we need a video to laugh at
Maybe I’ll take a dashcam video. Seems like the sort of thing that belongs in dull men’s club.
three is good enough for lane changes on the freeway, sure 10 seconds would be optimal but it’s not always realistic
idk about 1 because I think it’s absurd too
I use the three blinks when exiting a roundabout.
Ten seconds of signaling is insane. If you have the room, put on the blinker, change lanes safely, then turn it off.
That’s nearly a quarter mile at freeway speed and more than an average block in the city. You might as well just keep it on the entire time you’re driving since nobody will know what you’re signaling.
What do you mean by “when my BMW is reset”?
There is a tiny pinhole in the top of the gear stick. If you put a paperclip in it for 5secs the horn honks and the BMW is reset. Afterwards you have to resync your key through the authenticator app and change your blinkers from one to three.
If you hear a continuous honk. Your BMW is actually a transformer and you just sounded it’s urethra.
Incredible reply. Simply brilliant.
if the battery is disconnected, it loses some of the memory settings. like there’s two available seat memories that get reset. plus saved radio stations and blinker preferences
Smoking gun
That and the water pumps
