Trump, 79, admitted to Fox News on Tuesday that he feels he is “at the bottom of the totem pole” regarding his odds of making it to the promised land, leading many to ponder: Why is the president suddenly so hell-bent on making it to the pearly gates?
Please die a horrible death, like so painful you’d reach for a knife to just end it yourself. Actually I want it so painful and long lasting that you can’t reach, just lie there and fade into pain.
This is a level of self recognition beyond what I thought he was capable of. Perhaps it is terminal lucidity kicking in. I hope he is suffering.
Would be nice if he died before midterms and all the magats just shrug and say “welp parties over” and they never vote again.
Being a rapist pedo will do that, yeah. On top of all the other shit.
This reminds me of a comedy bit where a guy gets to heaven and Hitlers there and Hitler goes “I know, I’m just as surprised as you are”
Next up: Unsolicited call to the Pope to determine how much he’d need to donate to make it to heaven.
“…and, and, and, get this: I got Nobel Peace Prize coming in any minute now! It’s in the bag!”
“Hmm, that’s not what I hear.”
Papel Indulgence are a thing. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indulgence
Ohh yeah it is. Confession is also a hotline to low-key blackmail.
“Come on down to ‘Honest Epstein’s House of Confessions,’ where nobody will record your confessions for future blackmail purposes, we promise.🤞 Ask about our ‘Special Services’ for discreet wealthy men.”
Were a thing, and if Sky Daddy is real his mercy definitely isn’t for sale. He might double smite you for asking though.
Not enough smiting going on.
Religion is 80% marketing, 20% helping the community. The Sky Cake is a lie, but it does get some good things done.
Unfortunately it does just as much harm, if not more.
80% harm, 20% good
Mobsters like Capone and Escobar always do lots of community outreach, so what? That 80% should be good works. Why don’t churches use their vast treasure to give free health care to the citizens? Or free college?
I’d say the same thing about the mafia, though 20% good might be a stretch.
Trump makes me wish hell existed.
I am going to need something a little stronger than Hell for he and his kind…
I wouldn’t say “concerns”…
Make my fucking day trump you fucking shit stain
I’d be thrilled if it could be something that’s fairly slow and increasingly painful, for say, 4 to 6 weeks.
There’s no way we’re gonna be so lucky. Plus, JD in the WH? Yikes.
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Oh, man, I’d feel so bad for him if he died screaming and terrified of going to Hell. 🥳
yeah as if he believes in anything but making money
That’s a strange way to spell “stealing”
I’m gonna go on a limb and say that if that dude gets into heaven, they’ve got some super low standards. I mean, 2am drunkard with full-on coke bottle glasses low.
All these really good people coming in behind him saying “Wait, HE’S here? Why the fuck did I behave myself all these years? I could have gotten laid 1000 more times, but NOOOO, I have to remain faithful to my wife, and protect my mortal soul, and I end up in the same place as HIM? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!”
“Can I help you?”
“Oh, no, I’m sorry, I wasn’t calling you, I was using your name on vain, Sorry.”
“Yeah, you might wanna watch that, we take that one kind of seriously around here.”
I’m not even a little bit concerned about his health. I guess that could be taken one of two different ways. I meant for the mean way.
I’m concerned that he has maintained his health for this long.
Sparks health party plans fixed the headline
Trump took my job in April. Trump placed tariffs so the economy is crashing. Trump fired the lady that was reporting on new job creation. The metrics that track the chances of me getting a new job are falsified.
I hope he dies. I hope he dies alone and is scared in the end. I hope he dies before I become homeless. Damn him until the seas dry and the land ashens. Damn him until time itself shatters.
He deserves to suffer horribly, helplessly seeing his situation deterioriate day by day, as his wealth and power is stipped from him.
I hope he dies in terror while surrounded by brown and black people.
Personally I’ve been wishing for car fires that they can’t escape from and, if they’re in a Tesla, there might be a chance of that.
A Tesla crash, followed by an antibiotic-resistant flesh-eating bacterial infection.
Me less so. I feel like those people would be scapegoated.
Eh fair point.
Those last two lines are fire my friend. Good luck on the job search
Thanks, I need it.
The reality is that the next fascist republican will be worst (smarter and more evil). America is literally better off with Trump, the incompetent one.
I keep hoping the next Big Mac is the one that does him in.
