Millions of Americans across the country are on alert for a severe weather outbreak with violent, long-track tornadoes with damaging winds of up to 80 mph and large hail.
A spokesman for Trump’s admin was quoted saying:
I can’t believe that the democrats would use their Jewish space lasers on the hardworking electoral college land plots like this. Because of this, we need to defund the weather agencies and FEMA to prevent this, and divert the funding to the Space Agency to shoot the lasers down!
Please tell me that’s satire. I honestly can’t tell at this point.
I completely made it up as a joke, so satire.
I genuinely didn’t think it would fool anyone, sorry about that.
I don’t know if outbreak is the legit term for that, but I find it hilarious thinking they are spreading like a disease. How soon until the outbreak spreads across more state lines!
I was recently talking to my boss about some storms that were coming through. I said there were tornado watches in place. He said “Yeah but how common are tornadoes in ohio?”. I replied “I’ve driven through two in the past 3 years.”
I think he finally understood climate change meant weather change.
My condolences to the harm reduction blue voters, but did anyone else’s ears just start ringing with the screams of millions of southern state Republican hypocrites, willfully oblivious to the staggering irony, demanding GOVERNMENTAL ASSISTANCE disaster aid for this UNREGULATED CAPITALIST CAUSED CLIMATE CHANGE once preventable tragedy? "
And I want them to get that aid too. That’s what separates us from their barbarism. I for one want them to have universal healthcare and access to education, as we’d all benefit from them being less ignorant, whereas they would very much prefer those outside their out group be dead. Of course they’d turn on each other then.
You’re better than me I don’t want them to have it, they can bootstrap their way to Jesus or something
If only there was an agency that could predict this kind of catastrophic weather, and another to aid in recovery, and another to regulate against unfettered destructive capitalism. If only.
The hands of many are covered in blood.
But they will never be blamed. The AM radio/Russian/conservative hate machine propaganda is too strong.
How could Kamala Clinton do this to us?
What’s bizarre is that I see both the right AND the left doing this kind of thing when it comes to blaming Democrats…
Sigh.
Won’t they think of the buttery males!
Well Fema was shrunk and I bet they will be blamed for living there.
I’m sure they’re all democrat crisis actors
How can you not blame them for living there? The first settlers were warned not to build there (the native Americans were smart enough to be nomads), and this is not the first time American cardboard houses were blown around the country in that area.
Have they tried fighting tornados with nukes?
They have. Now they are using a more advanced sharpie technology.
This is God punishing MAGA voters. /s
Just kidding… There is no God. This is a man-made disaster caused by climate change, and these sorts of disasters will only get worse until we start fixing our carbon issue.
I made this joke last night to a friend. Why haven’t the MAGA freaks stopped for one second to think that maybe God sent the severe weather after them for voting in Trump and his entourage of assholes?
I guess they just don’t think, is the problem–lol.
When your god is the second law of thermodynamics and your religion is capitalism and your pastime is arrogant ignorance, what you initially said holds up pretty well.
Is elmud hacking HAARP. If he kills civilians, there’s no need to pay social security
They still have the capability to report on these things?
Those people need to pray harder.
MTG said it was the government controlling the weather. So this ones on Trump
I’ve heard it’s god’s wrath for homosexuality.
That’s only for blue states though.
Thanks Trump!
This is clearly Biden’s fault
Was the department for this already shut down?
Its Yemen! We must attack!
I’m sure Trump will
make lots of money for his friends in constructionprioritize helpingthe rich white peopleeveryone impacted by the storm.Autocorrect is a real bitch today.
My girlfriends car got totalled by hail last night and my windshield is fucked. Woke up to what sounded like Armageddon at 3 am
Wonder how much of FEMA is left to help them or is it just pull yourself out of the rubble of your own house you slackers time?
