Of course, it’s in private, and in a pitch-black room where no one can see, and only for a moment or two. Afterward, I say “thank you,” and she says the same. Then we go to our separate beds on separate floors of the house to sleep. She’s on the first floor and I’m on the third. Don’t want anyone to accuse us of impropriety.
Even at 40, people are still being weird to me. I was playing some late-night cribbage in a queer bar in town, just like how I go there every week to play cribbage or hive or chess or go and such; this woman my age was being super flirty with me and wouldn’t stop despite the fact I wasn’t reciprocating the flirts, but that I was still being friendly cause I liked playing bar games with her. Told her I had a go board in my car, she was interested, and she came with to my car to go get the stuff. Once I left the bar, I told her, “fuuuck, it’s like I’m the only sex-repulsed person in the bar, and no one respects it in there, but thanks for being someone I can confide to out here.” Her flirtiness dried up almost immediately, and she insisted that she wasn’t flirting with me for the couple hours prior, like she was trying to edit the past.
I’m not young anymore, why does this sort of stuff keep happening? I don’t get it.
Once I left the bar, I told her, “fuuuck, it’s like I’m the only sex-repulsed person in the bar, and no one respects it in there, but thanks for being someone I can confide to out here.” Her flirtiness dried up almost immediately, and she insisted that she wasn’t flirting with me for the couple hours prior, like she was trying to edit the past.
It sounds like she was following your lead. You pretended out of politeness that she hadn’t been the one flirting with you, so she thought she was being polite by doing the same. Or she was embarassed.
Lots of people are oblivious and don’t realize when someone’s flirting, so she might have assumed that’s why you weren’t reciprocating. There’s no way she could have known you were repulsed by sex until you told her, and when you did she stopped flirting. I get that you’re bothered by people flirting with you, but there isn’t anything weird or rude about her behavior. Just a bit of unavoidable awkwardness that comes with socializing.
I mean, my color scheme for every outfit I have is purple, black, gray, and white, so I’m literally a walking ace flag. And she’s in a queer bar, so I would hope she knows at least a couple of flags.
LGBTQA+ people can be tunnel-visioned about their “flavor” of queer. I was once told by a lesbian that of course I wouldn’t know about a specific Boston queer housing mailing list—I have a boyfriend.
Never mind I’m ace, non-binary, and polyamorous [which may or may not be queer, but is at least queer adjacent]. Like, yeah. I’m not LG. I can still be BTQA+.
Yes. I really struggle with some queer folks because they just… refuse to realize other people aren’t like them. Then they go on rants against cishet people for doing the same thing, but hey if they do it it’s totally cool! It’s insanely hypocritical.
My high school in rural Kentucky was like this as well. Meanwhile nearly 1/10th of the female students were pregnant and the biology teacher was fucking students in the lab supplies closet. Hopefully not related, but given the way these things are talked about only through euphemism, who knows?
The sex education we received was the type where they just show you a bunch of gross pictures of STDs and tell you abstinence is the only guaranteed way of avoiding them.
Did you have the plastic babies to take home and “care for” to scare you out of teen pregnancy? They had a key that you stabbed into the back of the baby and twisted, so they would stop crying.
Lmao no they gave us bags of flour that we were supposed to carry around and pretend was a baby. The metric for success was if we managed not to bust it open and spill flour everywhere.
Got a BBQ? Return the bag of flower as a literal pile of ash.
“I…umm…really don’t think I’m fit for parenthood…”
PSA: Careful, doing this IRL. It might explode. I would get nervous heating a whole bag of flour on a BBQ. Seems like maybe an explosion risk? Or perhaps I’m just being paranoid.
Ah yeah, the usual bullshit anti-trans propaganda, where accusations so frequently end up being admissions. I’m sorry you have to live through all that nonsense.
Hi. Ace and sex-repulsed person with hundreds of board games here.
Occasionally I’m partial to gently holding my wife’s hand.
I read somewhere that the most intimate HP Lovecraft would get with his partner was gently tugging her finger and uttering a little, ‘oomph’.
“Look, if I wanted to get screwed I’ve got In the Year of the Dragon right over there.”
I normally have to open my VPN to read such smut
Of course, it’s in private, and in a pitch-black room where no one can see, and only for a moment or two. Afterward, I say “thank you,” and she says the same. Then we go to our separate beds on separate floors of the house to sleep. She’s on the first floor and I’m on the third. Don’t want anyone to accuse us of impropriety.
Do you live in the UK?
I do. Can’t complain
… cause it’s illegal ;)
ooh, be careful. That sounds like a public display of affection. You’d get sent up the principal’s office at my high school.
(why yes, my autistic ass took decades before I became comfortable breaking that ingrained rule, even after graduation. Thanks, Kentucky.)
Even at 40, people are still being weird to me. I was playing some late-night cribbage in a queer bar in town, just like how I go there every week to play cribbage or hive or chess or go and such; this woman my age was being super flirty with me and wouldn’t stop despite the fact I wasn’t reciprocating the flirts, but that I was still being friendly cause I liked playing bar games with her. Told her I had a go board in my car, she was interested, and she came with to my car to go get the stuff. Once I left the bar, I told her, “fuuuck, it’s like I’m the only sex-repulsed person in the bar, and no one respects it in there, but thanks for being someone I can confide to out here.” Her flirtiness dried up almost immediately, and she insisted that she wasn’t flirting with me for the couple hours prior, like she was trying to edit the past.
I’m not young anymore, why does this sort of stuff keep happening? I don’t get it.
It sounds like she was following your lead. You pretended out of politeness that she hadn’t been the one flirting with you, so she thought she was being polite by doing the same. Or she was embarassed.
Lots of people are oblivious and don’t realize when someone’s flirting, so she might have assumed that’s why you weren’t reciprocating. There’s no way she could have known you were repulsed by sex until you told her, and when you did she stopped flirting. I get that you’re bothered by people flirting with you, but there isn’t anything weird or rude about her behavior. Just a bit of unavoidable awkwardness that comes with socializing.
I mean, my color scheme for every outfit I have is purple, black, gray, and white, so I’m literally a walking ace flag. And she’s in a queer bar, so I would hope she knows at least a couple of flags.
LGBTQA+ people can be tunnel-visioned about their “flavor” of queer. I was once told by a lesbian that of course I wouldn’t know about a specific Boston queer housing mailing list—I have a boyfriend.
Never mind I’m ace, non-binary, and polyamorous [which may or may not be queer, but is at least queer adjacent]. Like, yeah. I’m not LG. I can still be BTQA+.
Yes. I really struggle with some queer folks because they just… refuse to realize other people aren’t like them. Then they go on rants against cishet people for doing the same thing, but hey if they do it it’s totally cool! It’s insanely hypocritical.
because people don’t care about reality. they care about the fiction they are writing in their head.
My high school in rural Kentucky was like this as well. Meanwhile nearly 1/10th of the female students were pregnant and the biology teacher was fucking students in the lab supplies closet. Hopefully not related, but given the way these things are talked about only through euphemism, who knows?
The sex education we received was the type where they just show you a bunch of gross pictures of STDs and tell you abstinence is the only guaranteed way of avoiding them.
Did you have the plastic babies to take home and “care for” to scare you out of teen pregnancy? They had a key that you stabbed into the back of the baby and twisted, so they would stop crying.
Lmao no they gave us bags of flour that we were supposed to carry around and pretend was a baby. The metric for success was if we managed not to bust it open and spill flour everywhere.
I would go the opposite route.
Got a BBQ? Return the bag of flower as a literal pile of ash.
“I…umm…really don’t think I’m fit for parenthood…”
PSA: Careful, doing this IRL. It might explode. I would get nervous heating a whole bag of flour on a BBQ. Seems like maybe an explosion risk? Or perhaps I’m just being paranoid.
Flour is absolutely an explodey risk. The factories are prone to it. It’s a lot of dust in the air, goes boom easy, like creamer and such.
Loose flour in the air is a fire risk. A bag of flour on a grill is not. (It will burn but in a boring way)
Absolute filth.
I’m against kink shaming, but will have to do an exception
Gentle affection? That’s pretty kinky!
I mean, I’m trans, so that means that (despite being tied for the least perverted person ever) I’m terrified of ever being seen as a pervert.
At least my name isn’t in the Epstein files; can’t say that for other people.
Ah yeah, the usual bullshit anti-trans propaganda, where accusations so frequently end up being admissions. I’m sorry you have to live through all that nonsense.