Even at 40, people are still being weird to me. I was playing some late-night cribbage in a queer bar in town, just like how I go there every week to play cribbage or hive or chess or go and such; this woman my age was being super flirty with me and wouldn’t stop despite the fact I wasn’t reciprocating the flirts, but that I was still being friendly cause I liked playing bar games with her. Told her I had a go board in my car, she was interested, and she came with to my car to go get the stuff. Once I left the bar, I told her, “fuuuck, it’s like I’m the only sex-repulsed person in the bar, and no one respects it in there, but thanks for being someone I can confide to out here.” Her flirtiness dried up almost immediately, and she insisted that she wasn’t flirting with me for the couple hours prior, like she was trying to edit the past.
I’m not young anymore, why does this sort of stuff keep happening? I don’t get it.
Once I left the bar, I told her, “fuuuck, it’s like I’m the only sex-repulsed person in the bar, and no one respects it in there, but thanks for being someone I can confide to out here.” Her flirtiness dried up almost immediately, and she insisted that she wasn’t flirting with me for the couple hours prior, like she was trying to edit the past.
It sounds like she was following your lead. You pretended out of politeness that she hadn’t been the one flirting with you, so she thought she was being polite by doing the same. Or she was embarassed.
Lots of people are oblivious and don’t realize when someone’s flirting, so she might have assumed that’s why you weren’t reciprocating. There’s no way she could have known you were repulsed by sex until you told her, and when you did she stopped flirting. I get that you’re bothered by people flirting with you, but there isn’t anything weird or rude about her behavior. Just a bit of unavoidable awkwardness that comes with socializing.
I mean, my color scheme for every outfit I have is purple, black, gray, and white, so I’m literally a walking ace flag. And she’s in a queer bar, so I would hope she knows at least a couple of flags.
LGBTQA+ people can be tunnel-visioned about their “flavor” of queer. I was once told by a lesbian that of course I wouldn’t know about a specific Boston queer housing mailing list—I have a boyfriend.
Never mind I’m ace, non-binary, and polyamorous [which may or may not be queer, but is at least queer adjacent]. Like, yeah. I’m not LG. I can still be BTQA+.
Yes. I really struggle with some queer folks because they just… refuse to realize other people aren’t like them. Then they go on rants against cishet people for doing the same thing, but hey if they do it it’s totally cool! It’s insanely hypocritical.
Even at 40, people are still being weird to me. I was playing some late-night cribbage in a queer bar in town, just like how I go there every week to play cribbage or hive or chess or go and such; this woman my age was being super flirty with me and wouldn’t stop despite the fact I wasn’t reciprocating the flirts, but that I was still being friendly cause I liked playing bar games with her. Told her I had a go board in my car, she was interested, and she came with to my car to go get the stuff. Once I left the bar, I told her, “fuuuck, it’s like I’m the only sex-repulsed person in the bar, and no one respects it in there, but thanks for being someone I can confide to out here.” Her flirtiness dried up almost immediately, and she insisted that she wasn’t flirting with me for the couple hours prior, like she was trying to edit the past.
I’m not young anymore, why does this sort of stuff keep happening? I don’t get it.
It sounds like she was following your lead. You pretended out of politeness that she hadn’t been the one flirting with you, so she thought she was being polite by doing the same. Or she was embarassed.
Lots of people are oblivious and don’t realize when someone’s flirting, so she might have assumed that’s why you weren’t reciprocating. There’s no way she could have known you were repulsed by sex until you told her, and when you did she stopped flirting. I get that you’re bothered by people flirting with you, but there isn’t anything weird or rude about her behavior. Just a bit of unavoidable awkwardness that comes with socializing.
I mean, my color scheme for every outfit I have is purple, black, gray, and white, so I’m literally a walking ace flag. And she’s in a queer bar, so I would hope she knows at least a couple of flags.
LGBTQA+ people can be tunnel-visioned about their “flavor” of queer. I was once told by a lesbian that of course I wouldn’t know about a specific Boston queer housing mailing list—I have a boyfriend.
Never mind I’m ace, non-binary, and polyamorous [which may or may not be queer, but is at least queer adjacent]. Like, yeah. I’m not LG. I can still be BTQA+.
Yes. I really struggle with some queer folks because they just… refuse to realize other people aren’t like them. Then they go on rants against cishet people for doing the same thing, but hey if they do it it’s totally cool! It’s insanely hypocritical.
because people don’t care about reality. they care about the fiction they are writing in their head.