• InvalidName2@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    58
    ·
    5 days ago

    Not to get too serious, given the topic and the community I’m in, but…

    There’s a saying along the lines of “You can’t reason someone out of a position they did not reason themselves into.” And the overwhelming majority of the time, it’s completely true.

    Ridiculous as it sounds, there are large numbers of people out there who believe that being gay is a choice. These people legitimately feel like any recognition and representation of homosexuality risks turning people gay.

    You can spend all the time you want asking them when they chose to be straight and logically explaining things to them, it almost certainly will not matter.

    • ℍ𝕂-𝟞𝟝@sopuli.xyz
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      5 days ago

      I can somewhat understand but of course not support that mindset.

      Imagine if you held it as an axiom that “being gay is bad for you”. Then it becomes similar to addiction in their eyes, some people are more susceptible, some people are less, but it is the role of community to keep people away from indulging as it is bad for you. The choice that is presumed by them is not one of identity, but one of indulgence, the alternative they have is not “be straight”, but “don’t do gay things”, so they want people to do what normal people call “staying in the closet”.

      For them, a gay person is like a crack addict saying “but being a crackhead is not a choice, I was born with it, and this is how I want to live my life”. And they fear to let their children next to this gay person the same way you’d be apprehensive of a crack addict, because they might give your kids crack and make them crack addicts too. And if you tell them that their kids might be gay too is like a crack addict telling you your kids might like crack too; well of course they might, but it’s bad for you so you shouldn’t do it.

      Now of course society should stay out of our bedrooms, but that is an axiom held by us, but not by them. And partisan politics of course likes to keep these divisions up so that you vote for the one side, they vote for the other, and nobody questions why can’t we just live our lives in peace.

      • Roopappy@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        3 days ago

        Yeah, clearly. My similar answer has always been “Huh. It’s not a choice for me… Are you actively choosing not to be gay right now?”

        It’s sad, but if you are constantly resisting the urge to be gay… you might be kinda gay. You might be happier if you stop fighting it.

    • Frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      4 days ago

      It’s not true, but the way it plays out makes people think otherwise.

      There are tons of first gen atheists who came from deeply fundamentalist families, and often believed everything well into adulthood. To name two examples, Bart Ehrman and Genetically Modified Skeptic.

      What won’t happen is changing someone over the course of a single debate. They will come up with all sorts of mental gymnastics right on the spot. However, conversations like that do add up over time. An otherwise inquisitive mind will find a way eventually.

    • rayyy@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      4 days ago

      There are large numbers of incredibility stupid/ignorant/propagandized people out there who believe that being gay is a choice - FTFY.

    • fxdave@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      6
      ·
      5 days ago

      It’s not an instant switch like you pick up a sport. I believe everybody is bisexual at first, because the genitals work, no matter what sex, however, your soul gets specialized into a direction. I started having fantasies, I accepted those about girls, and rejected those about boys, based on my social norms that my environment gave me. And I became a happy straight guy. I can’t prove whether a different environment would have made me different, but I also cannot disprove it.

      • OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        19
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        5 days ago

        I believe everybody is bisexual at first

        Then you’re bisexual. If your “first” instinct was that both genders could be attractive, you’re bisexual. But societal pressure convinced you to only seek out heterosexual relationships.

        • Bobo The Great@startrek.website
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          edit-2
          4 days ago

          Also just because you have fantasies at some point, doesn’t mean you will follow the and they won’t “go away” in the future. That’s just your brain trying to figure out the unclean mess that sexual orientation is.

          • fxdave@lemmy.ml
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            4 days ago

            That is true, however, I think the resolution influences the result. I can be wrong, but there isn’t really an experiment where someone tries to convince kids to be gay and see the outcome. It’s just become forbidden to think this amongst the progressives for no reason.

            • Bobo The Great@startrek.website
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              4 days ago

              Such an experiment would be highly unethical and of doubtful interest. After all, you already know sexuality develops without influence, is it useful to know if it develops differently under pressure? To do so it requires to possibly ruin people’s live, that’s why it’s not done.

              Also, we already have the opposite experience: gays being convinced to be straight. As far as I know, it doesn’t really work and only creates suppressed emotions that ruins their sexuality.

              • fxdave@lemmy.ml
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                1
                ·
                4 days ago

                That’s no different from growing up in a straight world. So that’s why it doesn’t have an effect.

            • OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              4 days ago

              No, but they’ve tried the reverse. They’ve tried and tried convincing gay people to be straight and it doesn’t work. That’s not how it works.

              If you think you have a choice to be one way or the other, then you do. Because you’re bi.

        • fxdave@lemmy.ml
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          4 days ago

          No I’m not. It’s not about attraction. Biologically it doesn’t matter who stimulates your genitals. Then I found girls attractive, but that came way after I could have an orgasm.

          Prove me that it’s not because of the environment.