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    1 day ago

    The only thing you should put in your anus is your elbow.

    No, wait, that’s ears.

    The only thing you should put in your anus is your ear.

    No, no, that’s still not right.

    The only think you should put in your anus is something with a flared base.*

    *If you’re worrying about whether your boyfriend’s penis has a flared base and you can’t find a tape measure, recall that most penises are not readily detachable, and most boyfriends have hips wider than their penis, so you’re in the clear.

    If you’re worried that this advice doesn’t apply simply because you don’t have a boyfriend, there’s an app for that.

    • BeeegScaaawyCripple@lemmy.world
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      19 hours ago

      i thought it was that the only thing you should put in your ear was your anus so you could hear the brass section

      edit: also get pink ear, can’t forget about that