While there is undeniably large crossover, I also know a several of ace people, who are all very nerdy.
And like, for me, I mean this with zero judgement, I think kink is gross. People can and should live their lives ‘out loud’, and I think there is nothing wrong with kink. But also, I’d prefer not to hear about it, or to know specifics
There’s a line. I used to work with an old gay dude who would go around the office showing us unsolicited pictures of him and his boyfriend in their bondage getups. I don’t have a problem with what he did in his personal life but I did not want to see that shit. He actually got offended at me when I told him to fuck off and I was like be glad I don’t want to get you fired or I’d be on the phone with HR right now…
If I had googled his name and ran across his blog or something that would be on me but don’t shove borderline explicit pictures in my face when I’m working.
To be fair, one can’t assume that a person has no kink type interests just on account of being ace, because there is some some overlap even there, but yeah, the way it’s phrased that commenters anecdote would better support the notion that kinky people tend to be nerds, than that nerds tend to be into kink.
I’d prefer not to hear about it, or to know specifics
Yeah, he shouldn’t have to make it literally impossible to track down his fetish content starting with his real name, but his co-workers also shouldn’t be exposed to his fetishes if they simply look up his name online. It’s like the difference between someone hiding in the bushes and peeking into his window, and someone who can see him from the street because he didn’t close his blinds. Closing the blinds is the professional thing to do.
If his coworkers find his shit and click past an nsfw warning, that’s more like someone peeking thru bushes or something in your simile imo. Bro shouldn’t have to sanitize what he does on his own time on the chance a job looks at it unless he’s a teacher or some shit
I normally agree with this 100% but for kink and sex stuff I really don’t see a positive outcome from kids being able to easily track down porn of their teacher. This isn’t like a firmly-held fact-based opinion or anything, so I’d change it in the face of any actual evidence, but I just remember what kids were like in high school and hot damn that would not go over well.
I think closing the blinds is the wrong analogy here, since you’re not really supposed to look through people’s windows for more than a second without being creepy.
Showing it off in front of you when you knock on their door fits much better imo.
Is looking up one’s coworkers names a professional thing to do? Im not very good with social etiquette Ill admit but I would feel like I was being rudely invasive if I were to do that.
It also feels to me like one shouldnt have to be professional outside of working hours, and since social medias arent a part of most people’s jobs nor something one is expected to use at work, except for jobs specifically focusing on it, a social media page should be considered an unprofessional space, but maybe that’s just me.
I’ve looked up my coworkers’ names to find their resume or projects that they have uploaded, and I would look up job applicants to see if they really did the things they claimed to have done. If I went further than that and, for example, searched for their usernames or email addresses to see if they reused those anywhere spicy then I would be rude and creepy but the fact of the matter is that your name is not a secret. People can easily see anything associated with it online so if you’re doing something you wouldn’t do in public then you should use a pseudonym. (That’s why I think laws that threaten online anonymity are so problematic.)
It’s not that I think online stuff isn’t public or isn’t that easy to find, is more that it feels like a different context than the context of one’s job, for most jobs anyway, and so to me at least, even if one sees it, if feels unprofessional to me to care about finding something as mundane as sexual stuff. Isn’t like it’s a sign of hurting people or something. I do prefer to use a pseudonym, sure, but for reasons unrelated to professionalism. Granted, my line of work isn’t one where an individual’s personal projects would be very relevant, so perhaps the idea of searching up one’s coworkers feels more strange to me than it would for someone in like software or something.
This is irrelevant to the actual situation I was providing a metaphor for, but I think engaging in sex acts while clearly visible from the street is also illegal even if you’re in your own house.
While there is undeniably large crossover, I also know a several of ace people, who are all very nerdy.
And like, for me, I mean this with zero judgement, I think kink is gross. People can and should live their lives ‘out loud’, and I think there is nothing wrong with kink. But also, I’d prefer not to hear about it, or to know specifics
There’s a line. I used to work with an old gay dude who would go around the office showing us unsolicited pictures of him and his boyfriend in their bondage getups. I don’t have a problem with what he did in his personal life but I did not want to see that shit. He actually got offended at me when I told him to fuck off and I was like be glad I don’t want to get you fired or I’d be on the phone with HR right now…
If I had googled his name and ran across his blog or something that would be on me but don’t shove borderline explicit pictures in my face when I’m working.
To be fair, one can’t assume that a person has no kink type interests just on account of being ace, because there is some some overlap even there, but yeah, the way it’s phrased that commenters anecdote would better support the notion that kinky people tend to be nerds, than that nerds tend to be into kink.
Yeah, he shouldn’t have to make it literally impossible to track down his fetish content starting with his real name, but his co-workers also shouldn’t be exposed to his fetishes if they simply look up his name online. It’s like the difference between someone hiding in the bushes and peeking into his window, and someone who can see him from the street because he didn’t close his blinds. Closing the blinds is the professional thing to do.
If his coworkers find his shit and click past an nsfw warning, that’s more like someone peeking thru bushes or something in your simile imo. Bro shouldn’t have to sanitize what he does on his own time on the chance a job looks at it unless he’s a teacher or some shit
You were doing so good until the last sentence.
The requirement that teachers be puritanical saints outside of school is just as toxic.
I normally agree with this 100% but for kink and sex stuff I really don’t see a positive outcome from kids being able to easily track down porn of their teacher. This isn’t like a firmly-held fact-based opinion or anything, so I’d change it in the face of any actual evidence, but I just remember what kids were like in high school and hot damn that would not go over well.
Why not teachers? I hear kink puts a lot of focus on consent, and kids really need to learn about that right now.
I think closing the blinds is the wrong analogy here, since you’re not really supposed to look through people’s windows for more than a second without being creepy.
Showing it off in front of you when you knock on their door fits much better imo.
Is looking up one’s coworkers names a professional thing to do? Im not very good with social etiquette Ill admit but I would feel like I was being rudely invasive if I were to do that.
It also feels to me like one shouldnt have to be professional outside of working hours, and since social medias arent a part of most people’s jobs nor something one is expected to use at work, except for jobs specifically focusing on it, a social media page should be considered an unprofessional space, but maybe that’s just me.
I’ve looked up my coworkers’ names to find their resume or projects that they have uploaded, and I would look up job applicants to see if they really did the things they claimed to have done. If I went further than that and, for example, searched for their usernames or email addresses to see if they reused those anywhere spicy then I would be rude and creepy but the fact of the matter is that your name is not a secret. People can easily see anything associated with it online so if you’re doing something you wouldn’t do in public then you should use a pseudonym. (That’s why I think laws that threaten online anonymity are so problematic.)
It’s not that I think online stuff isn’t public or isn’t that easy to find, is more that it feels like a different context than the context of one’s job, for most jobs anyway, and so to me at least, even if one sees it, if feels unprofessional to me to care about finding something as mundane as sexual stuff. Isn’t like it’s a sign of hurting people or something. I do prefer to use a pseudonym, sure, but for reasons unrelated to professionalism. Granted, my line of work isn’t one where an individual’s personal projects would be very relevant, so perhaps the idea of searching up one’s coworkers feels more strange to me than it would for someone in like software or something.
illegal
Not illegal
Edit: I fucking hate the formatting syntax in this app
This is irrelevant to the actual situation I was providing a metaphor for, but I think engaging in sex acts while clearly visible from the street is also illegal even if you’re in your own house.