• Skua@kbin.earth
    2281·
    3 days ago

    Isn’t that like 4,000 years before the first records of coffee being prepared as a drink?

    Edit: upon a little research, the tablet in the image is a version of the Instructions of Shuruppak. The oldest known copies we have, of which the depicted tablet is one, do indeed date back to around 2,600 BCE. However, the text is supposed to be the words of an ancient king given as advice to his son much earlier. In fact, the first part of the text is, “In those days, in those far remote days, in those nights, in those faraway nights, in those years, in those far remote years, at that time the wise one who knew how to speak in elaborate words lived in the Land.” The speaker is said to be the son of king Ubara-Tutu, who is mentioned on the Sumerian king list as having reigned for over 18,000 years prior to the great flood of Sumerian myth. We can’t really put any actual dates on that and have no archaeological evidence for basically anything relevant, but some archaeologists date it around some known localised flooding around 400 years earlier than the writing of this tablet

    Anyway there’s nothing in there about coffee or even about the habits of The Youth These Days, but it does contain such pearls of ancient wisdom as “you make bad decisions when you are drunk” and “hurting yourself with an axe is bad actually”. There is a missing chunk that mentions beer and the god Ninkasi, herself associated with brewing and beer, so it’s possible that there was something about the flavouring of beer in that bit, but the trasnslation I’m looking at makes no mention of it

    https://etcsl.orinst.ox.ac.uk/section5/tr561.htm

    Edit again: also the original poster was joking

    • bier@feddit.nlEnglish
      7·
      2 days ago

      Thanks, I also couldn’t really believe this was real. A quick google search tells me

      Ethiopia is widely considered to be the epicentre of where coffee came from. If you’ve ever googled “coffee history”, you will have come across the famous story of how coffee was discovered in Ethiopia by Kaldi, an Ethiopian goat herder, around 800 AD.

    • Pipster@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      56·
      3 days ago

      Im assuming its referring to a different drink that isn’t common knowledge so its just funnier to call it coffee

  • Bluewing@lemmy.worldEnglish
    101·
    2 days ago

    If god intended my coffee to be mixed with any of that gunk, it woulda been grown on the coffee tree that way…

    • Laser@feddit.orgEnglish
      2·
      2 days ago

      Some coffee is just vile and undrinkable without. But then again, no need to drink such coffee in the first place

      • Bluewing@lemmy.worldEnglish
        1·
        1 day ago

        There is a case for vile tasting coffee. It will either put hair on your chest, (or remove it as needed for those that don’t want it), and make you mean enough to face the world and not only kick ass and take names, but get the serial numbers also.

        Never under estimate a human with a cup of bad coffee in hand.

  • nandeEbisu@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    2 days ago

    Kids start drinking watered down fru-fru coffee, right after the last early dynastic king falls and Sumer is taken over by Lagash?

    Sounds to me like watered down coffee is a pretty reliable indicator for the collapse of the current state.

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
    181·
    3 days ago

    The world has basically been in decline since before life began. Or at least that’s how some people perceive it.

  • ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zipEnglish
    15·
    3 days ago

    Winding the clock forward, our coffee must be even weaker, weaker beyond words. Can you imagine how amazing coffee must have been in his youth?

    • Wolf@lemmy.todayEnglish
      10·
      2 days ago

      The coffee in his day would wake up before you, make itself, and then wake you up by pouring itself down your throat.

      • Buddahriffic@lemmy.worldEnglish
        4·
        2 days ago

        And his grandfather’s coffee was so strong and pure that just the smell of it had the same effect as drinking his grandson’s (which would get brought up every single time coffee was mentioned).

        And I don’t mean the smell of it being brewed or roasted, but just the smell of the raw beans. Roasting and brewing came from someone chasing the old bean high from their youth.

  • TomMasz@piefed.socialEnglish
    331·
    3 days ago

    I know this is a joke, but you really haven’t had bad coffee until you’ve had percolated coffee. We live in enlightened times.

    • shane@feddit.nlEnglish
      8·
      3 days ago

      For people saying “it’s fine”, they are probably not talking about the same thing

      I assume you mean this monstrosity:

      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coffee_percolator

      Which is indeed a crime against humanity. My parents used one and kept me from realizing that coffee is delicious until I was 18 years old or so.

      The other people probably mean this simple yet effective device:

      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moka_pot

      Especially the comment about 60 million Italians.

      The moka pot is great and I use it to make my own latte every day.

      • TomMasz@piefed.socialEnglish
        3·
        2 days ago

        YES! This is exactly what I was referring to, not the Moka pot. I guess the percolator has faded from our collective memories.

      • LwL@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        3 days ago

        Every time I read about these things I get some sort of morbid curiosity about how coffee made with them tastes. Maybe I should check some second hand shops. Has the upside of saving someone from buying one to actually regularly make coffee…

        • LePoisson@lemmy.worldEnglish
          2·
          2 days ago

          Tastes like coffee.

          It’s not bad if you actually pay attention and don’t just leave it percolating forever like a madman.

          It just has a bad rep because people psychos will let it keep percolating for way too long and it over extracts the beans and gets really bitter and gross. If you use it like you should it tastes fine, maybe not as good as other forms of coffee making but it isn’t bad per se.

            • Skua@kbin.earth
              3·
              2 days ago

              The Italians I’ve met would be mortified if you gave them a percolator and not a moka pot. They look similar on the outside but they are very much not the same thing

              • Avicenna@lemmy.world
                English
                1·
                1 day ago

                wait I always thought percolator and mocha pots are identical. I myself use a mocha pot, does that mean I am not a percolator user? Oh no…

                • Skua@kbin.earth
                  2·
                  1 day ago

                  The big difference is basically that a moka pot only passes the water through the coffee once under considerable pressure, whereas a percolator does it repeatedly without pressure. A moka pot gets you something pretty similar to an espresso (though not the same, as the pressure is still far lower)

                  That said, if you are using a percolator and enjoy it, that’s what counts. I think the Italians are pretty good at coffee but it’s always going to be a personal preference deal

  • snooggums@lemmy.worldEnglish
    44·
    3 days ago

    I want this to be true, but it is so on the nose it would be great to know for sure. Any sauce for this one?

    (I tried searching but only found walls of reposted shitty copper reviews)