cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/5774387
The Department of Homeland Security is scrapping age limits for new Immigration and Customs Enforcement recruits as it ramps up hiring with a major funding boost from Congress.
Previously, applicants had to be at least 21 and no older than 37 or 40, depending on the role within the agency tasked with locating, arresting and detaining noncitizens lacking legal status. Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem told Fox & Friends that applicants as young as 18 could now be “trained and ready.”
People are going die. 18 year old kid that would take this job will be unstable and will end up killing someone. This shit rotten to its core.
They are hiring unstable people. People who have empathy don’t want this job. Hopefully most of them are incompetent and not highly fit too.
Buncha fucking mall ninjas
Hopefully what remains of the military once their (ICE’s) 70 billion dollar budget kicks in and they become trumps private merc group is still willing to fight for the constitution rather than either joining him or throwing in the towel
I wonder how much depends on the upper levels. If a couple generals say “fuck this” and side with the Constitution instead of the 30%-majority popular vote President, things might be okay. I don’t want war, but we need all kinds of power on our side - money, guns, love, numbers. Otherwise we’d be run over.
If the good generals resign or get canned and all that’s left are morons and loyalists, it’s a bad sign.
They will be competent enough to do what they will be asked to do.
Kids have even less than empathy challenged adults.
It’s a recipe for disaster
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The opposite is also true … an unstable 18 year old threatening an older man who knows that his life is basically going to end will think twice about how to deal with a younger opponent.
The US is really taking the dive on everything as fast as possible.
Grandpa can join too. Nothing like an angry MAGA who doesn’t even like anyone playing in their yard.
Apparently they don’t want to hire over 40. That might change if they can get enough young people recruited.
Apparently they
don’t*didn’t want to hire over 40.They got rid of all age limits.
Oh article I read still had 40 as the max, but lower the hiring age. Okay going be hilarious when grandpa as a fucking heart attack on a raid.
Yep, the dog killer said,
“We no longer have a cap on how old you can be or you can continue at age 18, sign up for ICE and join us and be a part of it. We’ll get you trained and ready to be equipped to go out on the streets and help protect families,” Noem said.
The trainers are going to have a time of it. Training 18 year olds next to grandpa is hilarious.
Release the Epstein files
I had heard they were having trouble recruiting. Hopefully this is a further sign of that.
Amazing how even providing $50k in signing bonuses, paying up to six figures, “enhanced” benefits (whatever that means), and waiving student loans in this economy STILL isn’t enough for them to find people.
A lot of candidates probably balk at the thought of becoming SS-like goons because ya know, morals…
And even those without any morals probably reckon Trump and his fascist henchmen won’t always be there, and then they’ll be held accountable for what they did during the Trump regime.
That’s also why ICE wants to hire teenagers: kids often don’t think things through and are more easily manipulated.
That’s why military recruiters target highschools.
And lie to the high schoolers. Get everything in writing kids, don’t believe a word they say.
There’s a giant asterisk on their website where it says the “up to 50k in bonuses” but it doesn’t actually have anywhere that explains what the asterisk actually means (like the terms of the benefit and bonus eligibility).
That asterisk definitely should just read: “you’re definitely not getting 50k, this is a blatant lie and you’re gonna get fucked like the rest of Donnie’s little helpers”
hope it sticks to their resumes like cancer
Wait, $50k sign on? Oh your God.
im going to hazard a guess, that the 50k bonus wont be upfront, but for an extended amount of time. they are probably not going to end up honoring it in the end.
Art of the Deal: Make a deal, then renege.
Hitler’s Youth
This sucks, but also it gives me a sliver of happiness that they couldn’t find enough candidates given previous criteria.
And they got themselves their very own Hitler Youth
Towards the end there for Hitler, he could only get the Hitler youth and old people left to fight for him.
So are we just going to start up the ICE draft next?
I’ll shut up before they start getting ideas.
I don’t think they want to give me access to their network or armory. I’ll most certainly abuse the fuck out of their incompetence and beat it like it owes me money.
Idk. They want loyalists but they’re putting a lot of money on the table. I’m not sure what meta they’re following. I’m honestly a little surprised they couldn’t find enough white supremacists to join up - It’s like the military, but you stay in the country? I thought racists would jump on that.
I don’t think they’d draft me. I’m their political enemy, I’d be used for slave labor
There are a LOT of horrible people in this country, but not as many as it seems. They’re just hugely overrepresented in the government.
They’d better be prepared for a lot of Full Metal Jacket incidents if they do.
Never been more thankful to just be diagnosed with heelspurs less than 2 weeks ago.
gotta get those proudboys
For anyone else questioning the source…I fully understand. Why they don’t link to the official website is beyond me but someone has to fact check, because the writers at Newsweek are less than mediocre (at best).
I’m glad we CUT VA Benefits and Social Security for this!
it’s ridiculously unsettling how American headlines are so frequently indistinguishable from parody
SNL writers are writing this timeline, and you can’t change my mind.
I take it that there aren’t as many xenophobic, cruel and morally bankrupt people around in the U.S. to swell the ranks of ICE as they would have hoped.
Here’s hoping the Republican voter base is terminally-online keyboard warriors just like me 🍻
I’d like to give them all something they can’t take off when this is all over.
Trump likes them young. No question about it.
