Had my door taken off for playing my music too loud… Translation: We can’t yell across the house for you to “come here”.

You lost me at Josh Gad

I can finally get rid of my Mega Bloks Enterprise D.

I could sometimes use real Legos with it, but quality control doesn’t/ didn’t seem to be a priority for Mega Bloks…

A page of text, two “your computer is compromised” fake security alerts, and not a single image of the pencil-tree…

I graduated high school in 03, a few months/years into the “no child left behind” bullshit. The last week of school, meathead asks, out loud, “why do people read”.

Almost ten years later and that dude has never had a job longer than three months. This. This is why people read…

Edit: i had a friend in highschool who passed away a few years ago, so I only know his employment status from highschool, up to the funeral. Deleted Facebook soon after

Just turned 40 and have a Giggle Scape Purple Hippo next to me right now.

I stock shelves for a living. I can only thank the flying spaghetti monster that they don’t use his face as a logo on that chocolate flavored drywall he sells as candy bars…

No worries, we all deal with stress in our own ways.

When i had to take my dog to the emergency vet, I got on discord and posted about ten Star Trek memes in under five minutes. One of the guys asked if I was ok, that’s when i broke down and revealed the reason. I was basically looking for attention…

“I can end it in a day”

This is the way to do it

I blocked my lg from the Wi-Fi after i got a “Kobe Bryant memorial” ad, while playing on my switch… TF?!

I hope there is at least one human that has to listen to the filthy, angry, Klingon profanities I scream, while jerking myself raw to hard core, ball draining, homoerotic, gay porn…

I’ll throw in Oxygen Not Included.

RIP Fireworks…

“Just Jeeves it” doesn’t quite roll off the tongue…

“freedom of speech” means the government can’t arrest you for your views. It doesn’t mean the rest of us have to listen…