Why do you think the best scientists in the world gathered and invented the all-day English breakfast?

I prefer the soothing “you’re being hysterical”

😎

When he continued, asking whom Hannibal considered third, he named himself without hesitation"

You think you’re cool? Think again.

Thanks for the source!

Do we have any witness reports or commentaries of this encounter? It’s the first time I’ve heard of it! Levels of badassery not seen since then I suppose.

Not so cunning, Mr. Linguist?

Then a pangolin maybe?

Fun fact: the word “pangolin” comes from the malay word “panggoling” which means approximately “pangolin”.*

* this is probably wrong, too. I don’t know shit about the malay language, to my shame

Writing? Why? I just shout at my underlings.

The wheel? My jet doesn’t need wheels, probably.

Math? Useless. I don’t pay taxes so what’s the point?

Sailing? My yacht doesn’t have sails.

Laws? They don’t apply to me.

Seals? Okay they are cute little freaks.

Just answer ‘Constantinopolis’. It must have been true at some point.

Nice try, Dubya

Don’t sweat it, I’m French, too.

Qu’est-ce que tu viens juste de dire sur moi, espèce de malotru ? Je te ferais remarquer que j’ai gagné la médaille du meilleur artisan de France, option viennoiserie et j’ai participé à plus de 300 concours régionaux de boulanger-pâtissier en Gascogne. Je suis entraîné en choco 2 barres et 3 barres et je suis le meilleur en pâte feuilletée de tout le sud-ouest. Pour moi, tu n’es rien de plus qu’un client ordinaire. Je vais te vendre une chocolatine comme tu n’en as jamais goûté, tu t’en souviendras. Tu crois que tu peux t’en sortir aussi facilement en me parlant comme ça sur internet ? Essaie encore. Pendant qu’on est en train de parler, j’ai contacté un livreur deliveroo et on est en train de remonter ta trace, donc tu ferais mieux de te préparer à une sacrée régalade, mon gros poulet.

So many fucking French here. Don’t you have baguettes to put somewhere where the sun never shines and white flags to weave? I know I have

Yeah OK I’ll need a source for that

Tiens tiens tiens well I happen to be French as well and I have already judged you (I hate you because you probably are on the wrong side of the chocolatine/pain au chocolat debate)

“Judgmental asshole who hates the world” and “French” are a bit redundant

Do you know how to get reviewed and published? I have a paper on hamster piss

Thanks. Fair enough.

Which one though? Is it Xi Jinping? Putin? Charles Taylor? Bush? Blair? Netanyahu? Ratko Mladic? Jean Kambanda? Samphan? Assad (not that old I suppose)?

There are so many of them

Pressure from parents in-law must be enormous. “Grandchild when???”