I cannot articulate how perfect this synopsis is.

That’s the general gist of the standard advice, yeah.

Good news, everyone!

(Not really good news)

Accepting your premise as true, it logically follows that god is in fact a shithead.

If perfect poop is ¥5000, how about ¥2500 for subpar poop? I can donate regularly.

I honestly do not know why the conservatives demonized Hillary so much

Easy way to move the Overton window.

faint echoes of “I heard that!” in the distance

Now we should arm schools

LA schools melt some ice

notlikethat.jpg

Thanks. Just imagine if someone had dropped their phone on the train.

Mordor, probably.

Username checks out.

We’ve been at “heightened threat environment” since at least ICE (and associated cosplayers) being unleashed on the American public.

I had a crush on Christine when I was like 7. Pepperidge Farm remembers.

is no longer an audience member for anything Nickelodeon-related

You’re not going to Heaven 
Eat a thousand crackers, sing a million hymns 
None of you are going to Heaven 
You’re not my children, you’re a bad game of Sims

What’s a little consolidation between friends?

According to a translator,

Turnover shares of the top 20 publicly traded payment companies

I admit to not knowing what this means and not caring enough to look it up. But I agree with both of you, Amex is way outsized and Fiserv/Global seem out of place. Not sure about PayPal because they seem to operate under their own rules.