Alright, I don’t really have a message to direct at you, but I have some words that I kinda want to say to you.
I’m some of those same things. Never been diagnosed with autism (and not really interested in getting a diagnosis) but have consistently been friends with neuro-divergent people. I never had sex until my mid 20s, but up to that point I didn’t think it would happen for a long while (my first thought afterward was “darn, now I’ll never be a wizard”). If you aren’t familiar with the term demisexual, look it up because that’s me too! The person you responded to does not give me demisexual vibes, quite the opposite in fact. I can say that I have never given any real consideration to a person’s “body count” because it give me the same feeling as hearing someone talk about “adulting.” It’s something I just don’t think a person talking about it can understand because they are talking about it.
This may sound weird, but I think the best thing you can do is embrace your virginity, really own it and own the fact that you know you want an emotional attachment/relationship before sex. You mentioned having severe anxiety, so I get that that would be very difficult, but I can tell you that it is very worthwhile. One of my favorite memories is of going to a small house party of about 6 people and at some point hearing every person/couple talk about sex they had had. Because I had embraced my form of asexuality I found that humorous and just continued to have fun. Later when we played “never have I ever” you can bet I was the only person to get everyone else to drink when I said I had never had sex. Later that evening one of the guys I had met asked me if I was really a virgin with an incredulous tone that told me I did not fit his idea of one, and it was cool to see the change in his perspective.
And when you do do stuff with someone, it will probably be awkward, but it will also probably be with someone that you can continue seeing. And if it’s anything like me and my first (and so far also only) partner, who also happened to be nonbinary, it will probably grow into some of the best, most intimate sex a person can have. Just remember that not having sex isn’t you, but it can be an aspect of you. As a less cool version of myself once said; “you can only be cool if you’re not trying to be cool,” which I said in an effort to sound cool.
Alright, I don’t really have a message to direct at you, but I have some words that I kinda want to say to you.
I’m some of those same things. Never been diagnosed with autism (and not really interested in getting a diagnosis) but have consistently been friends with neuro-divergent people. I never had sex until my mid 20s, but up to that point I didn’t think it would happen for a long while (my first thought afterward was “darn, now I’ll never be a wizard”). If you aren’t familiar with the term demisexual, look it up because that’s me too! The person you responded to does not give me demisexual vibes, quite the opposite in fact. I can say that I have never given any real consideration to a person’s “body count” because it give me the same feeling as hearing someone talk about “adulting.” It’s something I just don’t think a person talking about it can understand because they are talking about it.
This may sound weird, but I think the best thing you can do is embrace your virginity, really own it and own the fact that you know you want an emotional attachment/relationship before sex. You mentioned having severe anxiety, so I get that that would be very difficult, but I can tell you that it is very worthwhile. One of my favorite memories is of going to a small house party of about 6 people and at some point hearing every person/couple talk about sex they had had. Because I had embraced my form of asexuality I found that humorous and just continued to have fun. Later when we played “never have I ever” you can bet I was the only person to get everyone else to drink when I said I had never had sex. Later that evening one of the guys I had met asked me if I was really a virgin with an incredulous tone that told me I did not fit his idea of one, and it was cool to see the change in his perspective.
And when you do do stuff with someone, it will probably be awkward, but it will also probably be with someone that you can continue seeing. And if it’s anything like me and my first (and so far also only) partner, who also happened to be nonbinary, it will probably grow into some of the best, most intimate sex a person can have. Just remember that not having sex isn’t you, but it can be an aspect of you. As a less cool version of myself once said; “you can only be cool if you’re not trying to be cool,” which I said in an effort to sound cool.