My wife said “you could put 2 in one hole if you weren’t a coward”.

You’ve got more than three. There’s the A-hole, P-hole, V-hole, M-hole, two N-holes, and two E-holes. Then there are the manufactured holes: two H-holes when you make a fist, a TT-hole if you squeeze them together, a BB-hole if you’re on the heavy side, and two T-holes for those with foot fetishes. There are up to 3 bonus holes if you have one or more of the various medical stoma, and two extra bonus holes if you’re blind and have prosthetic eyes.

But you can get by with only one if you tie those sausages together end-to-end.